“The average woman worries about her body every 15 minutes, even more frequently than men think about sex” So said an article in The Times. What is it that we are so worried about? An internet survey run by Ruth Nicholas discovered that when in a relationship, women rated themselves as less attractive than their partners did which lead Ruth to come to the conclusion that women are their own worst enemies. If you see flaws in yourself, your partner generally doesn’t, either that or he does but doesn’t care. To him you are a complex creature who is a richer person for all of your points, not a bag of flaws. So why then, are 25% of British women always on a diet?
If we start trying to find confirmation of our beauty we look to the media images all around us and we almost always find ourselves coming up short. All these images are not showing true beauty, they are showing impossible standards that mere mortals cannot hope to live up to. They are designed to maximise profit for manufacturers and they form a trap we all fall into.
The unfortunate fact about modern images of beauty is that they are constructed in order to profit. Women who are insecure about their bodies are more likely to buy beauty products, new clothes, and go on diets. It is estimated that the diet industry alone is worth $100 billion (U.S.) a year. So insecurity about your looks, your weight, your attractiveness leaves you vulnerable to people who wish to exploit you for their own profit. But does it make you more attractive to men, or more likely to achieve a fulfilling relationship? Are men just as much victims of the media as women are? A lot of the time, when women worry that their body is not slim enough or their breasts are not big enough, they are conforming to the media’s image of beauty – not necessarily a man’s idea of beauty. In fact, there is a newly identified mental disorder, which seems to be restricted to men, called the “Centerfold Syndrome”. This syndrome is characterized by such things as looking at pictures of women rather than interacting with women, the rating of women by the “size, shape and harmony of body parts”, and the fear of intimacy. Far from being harmless, it was reported that the ‘Centerfold Syndrome’ contributes to high divorce rates, spousal abuse and boredom in marriage relationships.
So not only are media images of beauty impossible to achieve, they also contribute to the breakdown of intimacy between men and women. If you manage to win the diet battle and feel you are looking good, this could actually have nothing to do with attracting a deep and intimate relationship. Men could see you just as they see pictures of skimpily-clad models and actresses in magazines and on TV, that is, as a 2-dimensional object. In attempting to conform to these images of beauty, you could in fact be contributing to the breakdown of your relationship!
Finding a real relationship holds the key to happiness and fulfillment. When you find someone you can relate to and fall in love, that’s when you true beauty starts to shine. It will be a relationship based on a genuine connection. If it isn’t then it isn’t going to be a good relationship and is probably destined to be doomed. So what if you do have great tits and a slim waist, that could be your downfall, leading to a string of superficial, using men.
For the people who love us, just what is it they find attractive in our body? You need to be open to the answer as it could surprise you! It certainly surprised the women who took part in Ruth’s survey. In our hunt to find our real beauty we should think of men as our allies, not our enemies. It is the deep bonds we have with men that can provide the key to what makes us uniquely beautiful. Haven’t we all heard the saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it didn’t spring up from no where! It is in finding someone who is truely connected with us that allows us to see the true beauty we have within.
This article is written by Michelle WalterMichelle Walter, Origin Psychic’s leading expert in emotional issuesemotional issues and relationshipsrelationships. In it she exploreshow men and women look differently at their bodies.
